Haiku: The Game

It's impossible

for one to explain the game,

and still win the game.

________________________
Btw, I lost the game just now.

Quick Movie - Scream 5

I think I have a great movie idea....... Scream 5...... 

 

SCREAM 5 

_________________________________________________________________

INT. PRESCOTT FAMILY HOME- NIGHT

 SIDNEY PRESCOTT is pulled out of a deep sleep by the beep of the phone.  She slowly grapples to put on her prosthetic leg, which she acquired after her leg was lost to the ghost-faced killer last summer.

After she looks at the phone she hurriedly wakes her girlfriend, whom she acquired after the ghost-faced killer turned her off men entirely.

SIDNEY PRESCOTT

(frantically)

The killer just followed me on Twitter 

--from inside the house

TWITTER

@GhostfaceKiller I know you're there Sidney

@GhostfaceKiller Do you wanna play a game?

 

 END.

 

--Twitter: for when it just doesn't seem right to ask to be your friend

Stupid Spammers

I hate spammers.


Yet, sometimes I like to, or feel compelled, reply:
_________________________________________________________________

----- Original Message -----
From: 'Nadem kanmanee' < kanmaneetotk@calgarycharters.com >
To: <************>
Sent: Thu Sep 27 15:07
Subject: Fwd: spleen-p




http://www.mjespace.com/
Good day.It is the size of ones penis which determines success

Nadem kanmanee

___________________________________________________________________


So, my reply:
____________________________________________________________-

 

Nadem,

This is a very interesting observation on penis-size to success!

I did a little thinking on the subject, and basically started to go down the path others would take you to mean--big penis = success.

 

This gives us attachment a.

 

Then, when thinking about what people say about Asian peoples, in terms of intellect and penis size, albeit stereotypical, I decided it could be the inverse (see attachment b).

 

Yet, not knowing many Asians, or how to bring it up tactfully, I decided that live census would NOT be very effective.

 

So, I used common stereotypes in a mapping to the world's billionaires, and came up with something like attachment c.

 

I am currently trying to factor into the equation how the absence of the penis affects the model: Look at J. K. Rowling.... as she has no penis (as far as we know).

 

Any thoughts you could share would be most intriguing.

 

Ben Jones, PhD

My new problem with Google

Even though I am using Google blogger to post this.....
I have a severe problem with Google today.

As usual, Google has a new graphic to commemerate historical events.

Today, it was the 200th anniversary of the birth of Robert Bunsen, inventor of the Bunsen burner.

So, Google celebrated like this:

I fail to understand how this is a logical lab setup. It would make Robert Bunsen sad.

My problem is this:

• Fluids would be hard pressed to have such color differences.
• This lab setup appears to include a coffee pot--

• The coffee pot in question has steam, but no apparent heat source
• There is apparently something going on underneath the table to which we are not privy, because there are pipes going nowhere.

So, what's under the table Google? What do you have to hide?

Things NOT to do

I have had a really bad few weeks at work(countless hours of random things happening every day).
We have been working on a large migration project, and I have been assisting and helping with the random items that come up, as required.

This has had a negative consequence on my life.
As of the past few weeks, I have been randomly dreaming in PERL.


My dreams have been interrupted with thoughts like....

After being awake 12+ hours, I get random interruptions like the below:

• (Missing semicolon on previous line?) 

• Compilation error at line 44 near....

• syntax error at test.pl line 2, near "print("This is " 

If anyone else gets this, please let me know.  I wake up when this happens and expect to find an error report under my pillow.

 I sketched some pics to represent the past few weeks(animation to follow at a later date). 

If you think your parents are weird

Okay, Okay.....
So, I havn't posted in a while.
I have mostly absolved myself from social networking.


The main reason for this is that work has really been getting to me, and occupying a lot of my time.
I will quickly share this though.

Several nights ago, I was online late(working\), and I got a text message from my step-mother.
I never know what to expect, but she wanted me to look up something on the interweb--as both parents were already in the bed.

I call this segment, "If you think your parents were weird" or "What do Mom and Dad do in bed..."
Keep in mind, that

A)I was busy

 &

B)as this conversation progressed, I just thought to myself "W.T.F.?"

Below if an unedited version of the conversation:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
 From Jaine (11:14 PM)

Hey ben-do me a favor please-we are in the bed but trying to figure out the name of the guy that killed all those girls at the university of Florida long  time ago-i want to say in the 70's maybe-i'm thinking it was gary something-but it's about to drive me crazy not being able to think of it

 From Ben (11:17 PM)

Jerry Butler

From Jaine (11:19 PM)

Look up gary gilmore-jerry doesn't sound right- 

From Ben (11:20 PM)

murderer in the 70's, but in utah?  

 From Ben (11:23 PM)

Yep thats right-i think he was the one they killed by the firing squad-thank you-love you have a good nite and be safe

 _____________________________________________________________________________________

Anyway,
I reiterate, "W&%$    T^%       F(#@&."

Noone is probably reading this, but I just had to put it out there.

Have a good time inter-webbies!

I should be a monarch

I should be a monarch.

...--NOT THAT KIND OF MONARCH.

I should be a ruler, like a King. Like Elizabeth II, but a guy.

If I were a king, I would be regal and wonderful and I wouldn't take off my crown.

I don't understand why so many royals walk around without them.


What if it got stolen after you put it down?

IF I were to leave my crown at the palace, I would have to hire guards. --but what if one of them took it?
PERFECT SYSTEM: Hire multiple guards and ploy them against each other.

One thing is for certain. If I were a monarch, I would punish those who deserve punishing.
You know who you are.

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"